Making Sense of the Push and Pull
Relationships are complex. You want connection—but also need space. You crave intimacy—yet sometimes long for freedom. The Freedom & Attachment Matrix (FAM) helps make sense of this very human tension.
This model offers a clear way to understand how your patterns of relating are shaped by the dynamic between autonomy and intimacy. Instead of putting you in a fixed attachment box, FAM shows how your responses shift depending on your nervous system state, your history, and the moment you’re in. It draws on insights from attachment theory, neuroscience, polyvagal theory, and contemplative practices.
With FAM, you can bring more insight, compassion, and choice to how you relate—to yourself and others.
Honoring Me and We
Working with FAM supports you in find your balance between independence and togetherness—so you can stay rooted in yourself without losing connection, and stay connected without losing yourself.
This isn’t about fixing your attachment style. It’s about becoming more adaptive, secure, and present in your relationships. Whether you're seeking greater intimacy, clearer boundaries, or more freedom to be fully yourself—FAM is a pathway to more authentic, empowered connection.
Patterns We Explore Through the FAM Model
Secure and Attuned Traits
You feel safe in your own skin and open to connection. You can maintain healthy boundaries while staying emotionally available. Relationships feel interdependent, not needy or detached. In this state, love feels both free and grounded.
Together, we work to strengthen these secure traits, helping you experience more consistency, ease, and trust in your connections—while also deepening your capacity for self-leadership and relational presence.
Anxious and Reactive Traits
You’re deeply attuned to others, but may sometimes feel overwhelmed or afraid of disconnection. You might over-accommodate or react from urgency.
In our work together, we focus on calming your nervous system, developing inner safety, and helping you shift from reaction to responsiveness—so you can show up with grounded care, not fear-driven patterns.
Avoidant and Deflective Traits
You may feel strong in your independence, but distant when things get emotionally intense. You might pull away rather than risk vulnerability.
Together, we explore what safety in connection looks like for you. We’ll work to soften defenses without compromising autonomy—so you can stay rooted in yourself while still letting others in.
Disorganized and Antagonistic Traits
You might feel torn between needing closeness and feeling unsafe in it. These patterns often stem from deeper wounds or internal contradictions.
In our sessions, we meet these states with care and structure, allowing space to explore internal conflict without overwhelm. We also honor the wisdom that often hides within these patterns—the sensitivity, insight, and longing for wholeness that fuel even your most chaotic responses. Through this process, you can turn confusion into clarity and restore trust in your capacity to relate
Apply FAM to yourself with your free copy of: The Freedom & Attachment Workbook
 The Freedom & Attachment Workbook helps you delve into your relational patterns, offering practical exercises to explore how autonomy and connection shape your interactions. You’ll learn to recognize when your desire for freedom or closeness is out of balance and gain the tools to create relationships that feel both grounded and expansive.
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How Can FAM
Help You?
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The FAM model is central to how I support clients in creating more self-awareness, healthier patterns, and meaningful relationships. Whether you're navigating intimacy, setting boundaries, healing from the past, or just wanting more authenticity in your connections, FAM gives you a practical framework to guide your growth.
In addition to the FAM model, I also draw on the following in my client work
âś” Polyvagal and Trauma-informed therapy
✔ Existential & transpersonal frameworks
✔ Bottom-up somatic & top-down narrative transformation
✔ Person-centered principles and approaches
✔ Gestalt based processes
âś” CBT and solution-focused tools
âś” Advanced communication & relational protocols
Would you like to learn more about how this work may support you? I would be honored to connect!
